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Sir, Since Losing My Pianist To A Falling Cask Of Armagnac (The Dearer Victim Of The Tragedy), My Luncheons Have Wanted For Diversion. I Have Thus Dispatched Several Staff To The Musical Tutelage Of One Mme. Chasteté Buisson-Épais Of Châtillon-Sur-Loire,

Sir, On A Recent Visit To Lord Shaftesbury He Suggested We Take A Cab Into Town. I Expressed My Displeasure At A Bone-Shaking Ride In A Hansom Cab, But He Tapped His Nose And Smiled. I Can Confidently Say I Have Never Had Such An Enjoyable Ride In Luxurio

&Amp;Quot;So This New Photographic Process Of Yours, You Take A Picture Of Me Naked, And Then Repeat With Undergarments, And Then Fully Clothed?&Amp;Quot; &Amp;Quot;Um, Yes. It's More...natural&Amp;Quot;

R/Whyevenwearanything - Antique Edition

Sir, My Staff Have Of Late Shirked Several Duties Due To Complaints Of Hysteria. As Dear Dr. Hartschäft Occasionally Strains To Honour Constant Demand For Treatment, He Has Thus Instructed The Staff In The Art. The Practise Has Been Most Effective Thus Fa

Sir, Traditionally, As Head Of The Household, It Would Be Myself Who Would Punish The Staff For Misdemeanours. In This Modern Age, My Housekeeper Has Introduced A New Hierarchy, Which I Take Care To Study At Great Length.

Sir, The Greengrocer Did Visit Today. I Am Wary Of This Man, Who Dresses In A Suit And Tie Yet Is Little More Than A Tradesman. But The Cook And Our Maid Were Much Impressed With The Quality Of His Carrots And Parsnips. Today's Stew Certainly Had Great Fl

Sir, A Gentleman's Micturation Is A Troublesome And Time Consuming Activity. One Evening, Having Consumed My Fifth Or Sixth Glass Of Port, I Stumbled Upon A Solution. I Have Staff Sitting Around Doing Nothing, And They Can Damn Well Piss For Me. I Have En

Sir, Although I Have Had The Mains Water For Several Years Now, I Confess To Preferring The Taste From The Broad Street Pump. I Therefore Send Dolores Out Twice A Day With A Large Jug. As This Is Hot Strenuous Work, I Have Instructed Her To Wear Simple, L

Sir, As Another Of My Servants Is Mysteriously With Child, I Am Forced To Seek A New Maid. On Requesting Particulars, I Received A Novel And Most Modern Photographic Presentation. I May Take Some Little Time Studying Their Merits.

Sir, In Our Modern Times We Must Be Aware Of New Risks To Life For Servants. I Have Recently Read A Most Enlightening Medical Book Showing Treatments For Those Suffering From Miasmas, Electrical Fluids Or Overwork. I Have Instigated Practice Sessions Twic

My Good [Gentleman] Friend Captain Reginald Smythe Has Returned From A Colonial Voyage, And Has Brought Back With Him Mystic Herbs, Spices And Learnings. He Demonstrated To Me A Most Astounding Feat That Had Been Taught To Him By A Wise Guru Of The East.

Sir, My New Maid Ada Is Employed Under-Rate - ('Tis Only Proper For A New Servant). But, As A Considerate Master, I Have Promised Quadruple Wages And A Penny For Coal If She Can Lick Her Fundamentals. She Reports To Me Weekly With Updates On Her Progress.

Sir, I Recently Dismissed Another Maid For Burning My Breeches By Placing Them Too Close To The Fire To Dry (And I Do Not Wish To Discuss Her &Amp;Quot;Traditional&Amp;Quot; Sans-Soap Laundering Methods). I Have Found A Superior Maid Who Has Most Ably Demonstrated The Appr

Sir, My Maid Betsy Opined Her Wages Too Low To Buy A New Hat. &Amp;Quot;I Shall Give You A New Hat&Amp;Quot;, Says I, &Amp;Quot;If I May Be Permitted To Make A Photographic Print Whilst You Wear It. Bring Two Of Your Friends, They May All Have A New Bonnet!&Amp;Quot; The Joy In Their Hearts

Sir, Upon Visiting My Philanthropist Friend Dr Brownlee Dipper, I Noted The Sheer Number Of Staff He Employs. &Amp;Quot;It Is A Means Out Of Poverty For Them&Amp;Quot; Said He. I At Once Rushed Home And Implemented His Altruistic Scheme. Here Are 4 Of My New Maids, Gainful

A Bevy Of Beauties

Sir,My Maid Annie Learns Music With An Intent To Improve Her Wage By A Penny A Week. She Complained That Her Cheap Instrument Did Sound Flat And Lifeless. I Noted That Her Voluminous Layers Of Clothing Were Having A Damping Effect On The Sound. Resolved,

Sir, In Investigating The Disappearance Of My Finest Sauternes I Found The Culprits, My Butler And Scullery-Maid, In Flagrante Delicto. I Offered A Full Pardon Of Their Mischief If They Agreed To Hold Their Licentious Pose For A Daguerrotype For My Wife.

French Postcard, C. 1925

Ole New Orleans

Sir, Visiting The Colonies On A Fact Finding Trip In Search Of Restorative Remedies Derived From Local Herbs. I Return In Good Spirits To Find My Maid Ada Under The Evil Influence Of Laudanum For Toothache. I Position Her In The Recovery Position Of My Ow

R/Altboobworld Retro Edition : The Late 1800'S Were A Mixture Of Progress And Romantic Reflection On Times Past. Perhaps This Dress Was Inspired By Agnès Sorel?

Sir, My Maid Dottie Was Quite Distraught At My Decision Not To Have The Latest Gas Powered Geyser Installed. She Complains Of Soot, Smuts And Damage To Her Uniform Whilst Tending To The Stove. As A Caring Employer, I Have Issued New Dress Guidance To Prev

Sir, Further To My Correspondence Of The 20Th Inst., I Have Received - Quite Unsolicited - A Brochure Of Geysers From A Rival Manufacturer. It Is A True Modern Miracle That I Feel Such Warmth From Merely Browsing The Sales Literature. Thus, I Beg Assistan

Sir, I Recently Received A Brochure Detailing Maughans Patent Water Heating Geysers. This Particular Model Seems Very Effective As I Find That Close Study Of The Illustration Alone Is Warming Me Up Substantially.

Sir, I Found My Staff In What Appeared An Act Of Satanic Devilry. My Maid Did Explain They Were Cleaning The Chimney.all Hallows Eve Is A Traditional Time For Doing This As Sprites And Imps Do Assist. Satisfied,I Made Myself Comfortable With A Large Brand

&Amp;Quot;Sorry Cynthia, I Can't Make Your Soiree This Week. A Woman Is Coming Round. I'm Having My Hair Done.&Amp;Quot;

Sir, Having Dismissed My Maid On Her Ignorance Of Port Wine &Amp;Amp;Amp; Brandy, I Found Myself Interviewing Fresh Staff. &Amp;Quot;From Which Region Does The Best Wine Originate?&Amp;Quot; I Asked. Upon Their Response, These Harlots Were Removed. On Later Reflection, I Have Invi

Sir, Clumsy Maid Mary Did Fall And Break A Chair Leg. I To The Wood Turners, Who Offer A Most Modern Service Whereupon You May Watch Whilst Artisans Gently Manipulate And Shape The Timber To Your Very Specifications. I Requested The Rococo Style Chair Leg

Sir, My Maid Peggy Suggests That One Day, Women Might Equally Use Bicycles. I Countered That It Was Not At All Lady Like, Even For Lowly Staff. Peggy Soon Corrected My Views With A Practical Demonstration Of Her Female Prowess On My Swift Safety, And I No

Sir, My Wife, The Good Lady F____, Instructs Me That The Modern House Has Music Played By Minstrels During Dinner. I Set About Arranging The Most Musical Of Evenings; Indeed After The Gentlemen Retired For Cigars, The Music Was Heard To Play On For Many A

Sir, Having Returned From Her 14 Hours Shift At The Radium Factory, My Maid Ada Complained Of A Strange Glowing Sensation. She Admirably Followed My Guidance On The Best Ways To Diagnose The Problem.

&Amp;Amp;Lt;Insert Clever Title Here&Amp;Amp;Gt;

Sir, A Mysterious Item Arriv'd By Packet Post This Morning. My Maid Did Blush And Asked Where She Might Also Obtain Such; I Noted It Was Of Ivory Construct And Unobtainable On Her Wage, Which Displeas'd Her Greatly. My Wife Later Seized The Parcel And Has

Sir, My Maid Daisy Seemed Most Ignorant. She Neglected The Wash Stands And The Fires, And Served The Port Straight From The Cellar. I Raised The Latter With Her, And Her Dedication To Ensuring The Port Is Served At The Correct Temperature Is Now Admirable

Curious / Ghostly Hand (See Comments For Full Text)

Sir, May I Draw Your Attention To Correspondence That I Made In Another Place Quite Recently, As I Feel It May Be Of Some Little Interest.

Sir, With Long Distance Telegram Charges Being Such A High Burden, I Recently Learnt That My Wife Has Great Understanding Of The Matter. She Assures Me That She Can Arrange For Telegrams Of Any Length Or Distance At No Cost, Although No More Than Two Per

Sir, I Found My Maid Resting Upon A Chair When There Were 9 Cases Of Brandy To Take To The Cellar. I Dismissed Her At Once. She Said I Am The Best Employer, Is Working Until Day-End Sans Pay, And Will Present Me With A Bottle Of Vintage Burgundy Upon Her

Sir, On A Thursday Evening I Invite Local Ladies To Assist Me In The Science Of Photography. This Interests The Ladies Greatly. Unbeknown To Us, As We Held Our Dramatic Pose For 20 Minutes, My Wife, Having Discovered The Nature Of My Scientific Endeavours

Retro R/Altboobworld - This Lady Is Very Pleased With Her Outfit, It's Sure To Be A Talking Point Amongst Her Friends!

Sir, My Wife Has Of Late Been Most Displeased At The Interest I Take In Managing Staff, Recently Misunderstanding My Learning The Maid Upon Methods Of Uncorking Stubborn Bottles Of Wine. Thus Today I Did Delegate The Instruction Of A Lower Maid To The Hou

Sir, I Forbid My Staff To Sit Upon My Furniture And Dismiss Infringers. When I Found My Maid Molly Asleep In My Best Chair, She Explained She Had Discovered A New, More Relaxing Way To Enjoy It's Comfort. This Is Truly So Enjoyable That I Now Permit Her T

Sir, As Requested I Enclose A Lithograph Of Dr. Hartschäft Treating A Recent Case Of Hysteria. Although His Marvelous Technique Is Scientific And Modern, I Question Its Curative Ability Due To Frequent Recurrence Of The Condition In All Individuals To Who

Sir, I Must, With Great Caution, Share This Publication With You. I Would Not Permit A Maid Of Mine To Engage In Such Behaviour.

Sir, There Are Some Amongst Us Who Would Deny Me My Vast Wealth And My Low-Paid Servants. But With Such Privations, I Would Not Have Time To Sit For Days On End In My Vast Library, Learning Of 18Th C. French History.

Sir, I Visited My Club In Pall Mall, And Joined My Friend Lord Palmerston For A Glass Of Their Noted Brandy. He Spoke Of A New Venture Down The Strand, Of Pamphlets &Amp;Amp;Amp; Magazines Ne'er Seen Before, That Every Gentleman Might Desire. I Have Made A Modest

Sir, My Attempts At Introducing This Dress Fashion Among My Staff Has So Far Been Unproductive. However, I Welcome Suggestions As To The Historcal Nature Of The Scene Depicted Within This Lithograph That I Have Discovered In My Library This Eventide.

That Reminds Me, My Good Friend Mr Edwin Beard Budding Is Coming Over Tomorrow, I Have A Practical Problem I'm Hoping He Can Solve.